|-98% of breast cancer patients are females, leaving 2% spread amongst men
(1%), transsexuals (0.7%), hermaphrodites (0.2%) and other (<0.1%)...don't
even ask, eunuchs perhaps?
-73% of men wearing pink ribbon apparel do so to pick up chicks, 25% lied in
the survey and the remaining 2% are actually doing it to help raise awareness
(and to pick up chicks)
-Women with breast implants are 2-3 times LESS likely to develop breast cancer
(fun to look at and practical, too...apparently, Fate has a fetish for big boobies)
-Chinese women have the lowest incidence of breast cancer amongst all racial
backgrounds (see girls, having small breasts has its advantages...although a
surgical 'enhancement' doesn't seem to hurt either (see above.)
|-The five year survival rate for women diagnosed with breast cancer remains well
over 84%, not bad when compared to several other five year survival rates: being
struck by lightning (21%), attacked by a mountain lion (13%), assigned to
contract work in Iraq (47%), being a rock star (69%) or having your still-beating
heart torn out and being lowered into a fiery hell-hole (Indian Jones style) (0%.)
-57% percent of breast cancer cases affect the right breast only, while 41%
affects the left breast only. The other 2% of unfortunate souls catch the double
whammy of having cancer in both. Why the discrepancy? Who knows...We're
guessing it has something to do with the Moon's gravitational pull...you know,
like the tides. Damn you, moon.
-Women who receive oral sex from their partner at least once a week show
dramatically lower rates of breast cancer incidence. Go ahead, ask your doctor.
Then share this info with your partner...you can thank us later.
|An Interesting Collection of Breast Cancer Statistics
|We, at CancerIsNotFunny.com, are not doctors. We are not medically trained or certified in any way
(if medical knowledge was measured in parenting skills, we'd be Britney Spears) and thus, all of the
claims and/or suggestions detailed on this site should not be taken as medical advice. Always consult
your physician before beginning and/or modifying any alternative course of treatment.
We are, however, firm believers in the healing power of laughter. **Laughter has not been FDA
approved for the treatment of cancer or any other medical condition (except maybe depression, and
if it's not, it sure as hell should be)**
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