Funny Cancer Quotes:

-My father died of cancer when I was a teenager. He had it before it became popular.
~Goodman Ace

-Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough.
They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't give
CBS an idea for another reality show.
~Bill Maher

-It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

-Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get
cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog,
you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty-five years and
you pay it back and then -- one day -- you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed,
you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go
into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then -- one day -- you step off
a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.”
~ Dennis Leary

-Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most
dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.”
~ Jimmy Fallon

[Inspirational cancer quotes continued below...]
Inspirational Cancer Quotes:

-My cancer scare changed my life. I'm grateful for every new, healthy day I have. It has helped me
prioritize my life.
~Olivia Newton-John

-It has been an extraordinary experience and, in many ways, extremely positive.
~Marianne Faithful, on her successful recovery from breast cancer

-If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them.
When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and
emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell.
~Lance Armstrong

-Time is shortening. But every day that I challenge this cancer and survive is a victory for me.
~Ingrid Bergman

-Cancer is a word, not a sentence.
~John Diamond

-Once you choose hope, anything's possible.
~Christopher Reeve

-Since I came to the White House, I got two hearing aids, a colon operation, skin cancer, a prostate
operation, and I was shot. The damn thing is I've never felt better in my life.”
~Ronald Reagan

-"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit."
~ Napoleon Hill

-"Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine. Merriment - it is the sunny side of existence."
~ Lord Bryon

-Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”
~Mark Twain

-One must not forget that recovery is brought about not by the physician, but by the sick man himself.
He heals himself, by his own power, exactly as he walks by means of his own power, or eats, or thinks,
breathes or sleeps.
~Georg Groddeck, The Book of the It, 1923
Humorous Cancer Quotes and Sayings
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We, at CancerIsNotFunny.com, are not doctors. We are not medically trained or certified in any way
(if medical knowledge was measured in parenting skills, we'd be Britney Spears) and thus, all of the
claims and/or suggestions detailed on this site should not be taken as medical advice.  Always consult
your physician before beginning and/or modifying any alternative course of treatment.

We are, however, firm believers in the healing power of laughter. **Laughter has not been FDA
approved for the treatment of cancer or any other medical condition (except maybe depression, and
if it's not, it sure as hell should be)**
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