#10: Wear an "I've Got Cancer" t-shirt around the house.
#9: Using overly intricate (and thoroughly confusing) means:
-Spouse: Honey, you don't look so well. Are you feeling alright?
-Response: Well, if by 'are' you mean 'do', and if by 'feeling' you mean
'have' and if by 'alright' you mean 'cancer', then the answer is yes, I
most certainly do.
#8: Vanity license plates: [2MR GUY], [KEMO GAL], [CNCR SUX],[CNCR FITR]
#7: Via text message. ( omg! ive gt cancer. not kewl. )
#6: Make your family play connect the dots with your twisted logic:
"Ya know, I was thinking about what a horrible disease that cancer is
and how Fate must really hate someone to inflict such a horrible curse
on them. Well, apparently Fate hates me."
#9: Using overly intricate (and thoroughly confusing) means:
-Spouse: Honey, you don't look so well. Are you feeling alright?
-Response: Well, if by 'are' you mean 'do', and if by 'feeling' you mean
'have' and if by 'alright' you mean 'cancer', then the answer is yes, I
most certainly do.
#8: Vanity license plates: [2MR GUY], [KEMO GAL], [CNCR SUX],[CNCR FITR]
#7: Via text message. ( omg! ive gt cancer. not kewl. )
#6: Make your family play connect the dots with your twisted logic:
"Ya know, I was thinking about what a horrible disease that cancer is
and how Fate must really hate someone to inflict such a horrible curse
on them. Well, apparently Fate hates me."
#5: The Relativity Approach:
"Well honey, I got fired from my job for sleeping with the cleaning
lady, who apparently gave me HIV. You should get yourself checked
out ASAP. Ha ha, just kidding about that...by the way, I have cancer.
#4: "Alright everybody, raise your hand if you DON'T have cancer."
(raising your hand at first, then slowly dropping it as everyone watches)
#3: On the Jumbotron at a sporting event.
#2: Through clever subtleties:
Spouse: Do you have Billy's basketball schedule for next week?
Response: I'll tell ya what I don't have...the ability to properly regulate
cell growth and proliferation anymore.
And the #1 worst way to break cancer diagnosis news to your family:
"Knock-knock" ... "who's there?" ... "I have cancer."
"Well honey, I got fired from my job for sleeping with the cleaning
lady, who apparently gave me HIV. You should get yourself checked
out ASAP. Ha ha, just kidding about that...by the way, I have cancer.
#4: "Alright everybody, raise your hand if you DON'T have cancer."
(raising your hand at first, then slowly dropping it as everyone watches)
#3: On the Jumbotron at a sporting event.
#2: Through clever subtleties:
Spouse: Do you have Billy's basketball schedule for next week?
Response: I'll tell ya what I don't have...the ability to properly regulate
cell growth and proliferation anymore.
And the #1 worst way to break cancer diagnosis news to your family:
"Knock-knock" ... "who's there?" ... "I have cancer."
Top 10 Worst Ways to Break Cancer Diagnosis News to Your Family
We, at CancerIsNotFunny.com, are not doctors. We are not medically trained or certified in any way
(if medical knowledge was measured in parenting skills, we'd be Britney Spears) and thus, all of the
claims and/or suggestions detailed on this site should not be taken as medical advice. Always consult
your physician before beginning and/or modifying any alternative course of treatment.
We are, however, firm believers in the healing power of laughter. **Laughter has not been FDA
approved for the treatment of cancer or any other medical condition (except maybe depression, and
if it's not, it sure as hell should be)**
(if medical knowledge was measured in parenting skills, we'd be Britney Spears) and thus, all of the
claims and/or suggestions detailed on this site should not be taken as medical advice. Always consult
your physician before beginning and/or modifying any alternative course of treatment.
We are, however, firm believers in the healing power of laughter. **Laughter has not been FDA
approved for the treatment of cancer or any other medical condition (except maybe depression, and
if it's not, it sure as hell should be)**
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